My Big Realization

I realized that Adam Smith was right all along - every individual is selfish.

When somebody else does it, I am quick to judge, but when I do it, I feel justified.

The twangs of Jealousy.

I know I should give him space, and free time to meet people, friends, school friends college friends. But my mind is plagued with questions about what about the past dont I know.. did she have feelings for him, why would they be talking for so long? are they just going out for coffee or are they getting dinner? does it matter? how do I know? how can I tell?

I breathe easy. Go online, read some, feel better, deep breathe again.

After a while, I call, he doesnt pick up. I give him another 20 minutes. I cant breathe again.

I know its okay, I am assured of his love, but I still feel this way. How can I make it go away.

He gives me all the space I need, I dont feel a thing when i get dinner with a friend, so I should obviously think the same, and give him that space, but I dont, urgh, why?

Is there a permanent way to solve this? I read on google, that it reflects my lack of confidence in myself. I dont deny that, but I just want a fix, for now, quick and easy. Like for example, a call from him saying he's done and a full narration of the conversation. :)

I guess I'm just a paranoid crazy girl friend. :)